Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Some deep thinking....

So, anyone that knows me knows that I have quite a generation gap between kids. My oldest is 23 & my youngest is just shy of 5 years old. Lately, I've struggled with the differences in phases & it's really hard to not somehow feel a little misplaced. I'm needed, I'm not needed, I don't know anything, I'm the smartest person in the world, we're close, we're not.... I'm confused! I admit, watching my 2 older boys move on to independent living was hard but not for the obvious reasons. Somewhere along the way I missed that part in the manual that says as time goes on, they go out of their way to show you in every way possible that they have not only severed the cord but chopped it up into little pieces, run over it multiple times & then blown it up! In many ways my 20-something year olds & my 10 year old daughter are on the same developmental page! I'm a complete moron & know absolutely nothing! They are moving heaven and hell to show me that they are independent and that my "mom" services are no longer needed. I expect this from Kaydee (my 10 year old)... it's in the book... really!!! Been there, done that, expected it & am once again wearing the t-shirt (though i admit, after this many years since i last wore it, it's a little snug). What shocks the hell out of me is that I'm apparently re-visiting this again with my oldest kids! Really???? WTH??? I have always been blessed that through every stinking phase, one thing always remained....communication. For some reason, that seems to be dwindling though. I just seem to roll with the punches these days and quite frankly, I'm not liking it! Not a bit! I've never been the average Mom & I have done the best job that I thought could be done. I have very few regrets which is a blessing in itself. I guess that's why some days this all seems so un-justifiably hurtful..... well beyond detachment. For Kaydee, it's a given & I can deal... it will change when we progress to the next phase but at what age do the phases stop? Seriously, I want to know! *crickets chirping* That's what i thought.... there is never an end. We all continue to evolve into who we are meant to be and striving to become. This shouldn't deliberately exclude your Mom though.... if you have a great relationship with her.... right? Am i delusional? What am i missing? I'm obviously missing pages from my elusive parent manual.... is anyone willing to loan me a copy..... before I lose my mind.... please??? UGH! For now I suppose that i should just take comfort in the fact that to at least 3 out of my 6 kids I've still hung the moon. I guess it's true that you can't make all of the people happy all of the time. *sigh* Hopefully the next post will be a happier one. Until then...CIAO! : /

Monday, August 30, 2010

Yay for the end of AUGUST!

I am elated! 2 more days and August will be once again behind me. August is the WORST month of the year for me. It ranks #1 as the all time busiest month of the year! UGH! I have been SO busy with job, family & just balancing the many hats I have to wear lately. August seems to be the month where EVERYONE wants a piece of me and then there's the added bonus of the heat here in AZ ...one of our hottest months! UGH! I'll spare you the yucky details....just know that I'm crazyhappyexcited (yes, i deliberately made that 1 word!) that it's almost OVER! LOL! *end of ventfest* ; ) On the upside, I did manage to steal some much needed *me* time over the weekend. Kevan & I had a great time with friends, family & even got to spend some time with BOTH of our grown boys! So, I guess I can't complain too much... life is good; that is a fact!
I noticed that my FB account has mysteriously resurfaced.... maybe a glitch.... who knows? I do know that the little hiccup I had with that account did certainly put some things into perspective for me though. I am now happily at the point that I can take it or leave it..... a good thing for sure! : ) Sometimes we all need a reminder, kick in the pants.... however you want to look at it. I got mine and have been pleasantly surprised with how much more I have accomplished without that little outlet. Things that make ya go hmmmm! ; )
Looking forward: Hmmm, let's see.... I am really looking forward to cooler weather, getting crafty, holidays, enjoying outdoor activities with the kids & all of the awesome things that Fall holds for me. : ) I also have some pretty cool bloggy ideas for prompting me to keep up here. Well, time to get back to month end stuff & some upcoming state meetings....whoopie! I hope that everyone has a wonderful week! See ya soon! CIAO! : )

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Let's just see if this works....

hmmm.... blogging from my phone? Yea for technology....sometimes not so much though. ; ) I've been asked by a few "how come you haven't blogged?".... in fact *someone* (you know who you are...heehee) recently told me i hadn't blogged since last October! I hadn't realized just how long it had been! Surely there's the "life happens" excuse but there's also that crazy advancement in our times called "social networking". I've come to realize that it has become my biggest pitfall. There's hardly an escape....unless of course you eliminate all cell phones & computers from your existence and sheepishly crawl back into the dark ages. Even if you did, you're bound to hear a majority of your friends exclaim at various points of the day "did you see what so & so posted?".... it's in a lot of ways like *cyber payton place* i tell ya! I had to take a long look at cyber time vs. real time & I gotta say.... I was less than pleased with my scale of priorities. It was too much of an escape & far too easy to access. So in short, after some account issues I think I have decided to suck it up, get past the yucky withdrawls & get a life. : ) This is not to say that it isn't ok for anyone else. Social networking is a great way to connect or stay connected with the ones we care about. It's just not for this girl....at this point in time. When I can rationalize why I never had time to till & replant my garden this year but have a flourishing virtual farm, there's a problem. If I blogged as much as i networked I'd never come up for air! LOL! For now, I'll simply look at my account issues as a blessing in disguise. : ) Hopefully now I'll have the time I never seemed to have to keep this bloggy thing going as it was meant to be.... as well as actually accomplishing a few neglected goals and maybe seeing some of my friends in real LIFE & not just on a status post. What a concept! That sure beats anything a social network could ever offer! So with that said, thank you Mr. Hacker or FB hiccup....which ever was the cause....I'm once again where i need to be. : ) CIAO! I'll be blogging & reading very soon....promise! ; )